If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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