when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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