no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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