Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
