ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
