the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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