1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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