Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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