I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just leave with hair like that
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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