Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
