Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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