when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
