I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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