yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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