need another drink. this is the easiest way
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
