i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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