i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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