Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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