Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Please, let me fuck your mom
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
