Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
