I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
