all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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