We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
