Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
