You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im holly from the hills drunk
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The air taste purple.
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