I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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