I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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