Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
