if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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