Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
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We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize