Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
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Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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