It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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