Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
