32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
