She said her name was "party"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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