You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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