i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
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I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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