dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
