You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've blown a few things in my day
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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