he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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