We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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