Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse