I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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