You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
