She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize