I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
