Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
