Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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