I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
