You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
