She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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