The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
