after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
