i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
