Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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