chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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