Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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