I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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