drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
