just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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