So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
