If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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