when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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