you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
