I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
