Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
