Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
