Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The uberlube is also flammable
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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